Journey of a trying twenties....

Friday, September 28, 2007

Thank you

Thank you your divine ryeness for showing interest on my Jesus take the Wheel post.

I encourage everybody to join the http://unitedsea.blogspot.com

Let your voices be heard, speak up. Writing is a form of therapy.


Hanggang sa muli !!!

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

The SECRET.

I want to buy the book.. Oh I heard so much about it even Oprah dedicated entirely the whole show just for this.

I really really want to know what's behind this book or movie.

Chirpy.. chirpy...

Looking forward to my next weigh in...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

UPDATE: WEIGH

I Lost 3 pounds for this week. Yipeee.

Till the next weigh in. :D

Father, help me build my life around You. Make my heart Your home.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

His Light is Shining on Me.

COMPROMISE

Some people are easy to please; others are hard to. Experience soon teaches us that we cannot please everybody.

People who spend their lives trying to please everyone around them waste so much time and energy. They usually end up frustrated, exhausted, and, sometimes, even devastated.

Some people equate their personal worth with the number of people who are pleased with them. Such worth is a cheap one. Our value does not rely on whether people like us or not. We are valuable even before we please anyone. The blood of the Son of God has already ransomed us. When we are obsessed with pleasing others all the time, we fail to grow. We become slaves of how others think of us. We make our happiness depend on the approval of others. We become no better than a dog that wags its tail when its master pats its head. But we are not dogs. We are disciples of Jesus. We are children of God.

Sometimes a disciple of the Lord is disheartened when others reject the message he or she brings; then the otherwise true disciple begins to compromise. Sadly, though, when a disciple compromises the message of the Kingdom in order to get the nod of others, Jesus Himself is compromised. Jesus did not compromise His mission and message just to please others.

He did not bow to the expectations, much less, to the dictates of others. He was not afraid to be different, if being different was according to the will of the Father. He did not live His life in view of pleasing anyone except the Father. He gave His life so that others may become more pleasing to the Father.

Because Jesus refused to compromise, because He was different, because He could not be intimidated, His enemies killed Him (Niligpit nila si Jesus). But they were not able to silence Him (Niligpit nila si Jesus pero hindi nila Siya napatahimik). On the contrary, Jesus became a dangerous memory to those who were responsible for His death on the cross. It haunted them through the countless Christians who were not afraid but were even willing to die not only for Jesus but also like Jesus.

Fr. Bobby T.


My sincere thanks to everybody. Your sweet spirit inspires me.

I also want to thank those who refuse to believe that I can do it, to those who makes fun of me, who sees me as something not worthy of your precious time, your genuine friendship because I am a nobody, NEWS FLASH the mere fact that you spend time talking about me behind my back is a sign that you care about me though in a different way.

I am getting tired trying to please you, trying to keep up with your expectations. There's nothing left for me to say but thank you. All I can do is live my life in accordance to God's plan.

I know that I'm not cut out for your "perfect world". But I was created with imperfections in order for me to perfect my ways in preparation for my homecoming to my real home, not here on earth but in my Heavenly Fathers Kingdom.

Again Thank you.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

TODAY is DAY

Today is the start of my journey to a new me.

WEIGH in next TUESDAY IM EXCITED.

THANK YOU AGAIN for the SUPPORT. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Monday, September 17, 2007

a day before my journey....

I'm excited.

1 more day and I'm going in Journey to change my life forever.

Thank you to everyone for lifting up my spirit, letting me know that I can do it and that you will be there to support me all the way.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

I am going to participate in the
Look Great in 2008 Challenge
from
Tales from the Scales

Start date: Sept. 19, 2007 Wednesday
End date: Jan 11, 2008 Tuesday

Weigh in Every TUESDAY.

PLAN: eliminate rice, softdrinks from my diet.

Start eating healthy.

1 week to go

10 things GOD WILL NOT ASK YOU

























Very uplifting.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

QUIZZESESOSES

Forgive me.. I just love quizzes..

Get to know the REAL you by crash_and_burn
Your Name
You Are A:Geek
Your Favorite Band/SongSaves The Day - All-Star Me
You Like To Read:Non-fiction novels
You Firmly Believe In:Abstinence
Everyone Thinks You Are:A cheap bastard
You Were Conceived:In a bed, duh
You Will Marry:Fidel Castro


How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.


Never Date a Cancer

Clingy, emotional, and very private - it's hard to escape a Cancer's clutches.
And while Cancer will want to know everything about you, they're anything but open in return.

Instead try dating: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini, or Aquarius


HAHAHA last test made me laugh so hard. Now now my dear hush hush.. you're still my friend always remember that.

JUAN TAMAD

Juan Tamad - a filipino folklore character. He's lazy.

Am I getting old? I don't enjoy gossip while working I get irritated easily by people who seems to not take their work seriously.

I don't fear aging in fact I welcome it with open arms, I am loving every minute of it.

A sign that I am getting old is the fact that I'm seeing my work now as something special, something that I should, must take care.

I started working at a tender age of 13 when other kids my age are playing jackstones, luksong tinik, patintero or watching tv I was already working at a coffee shop in Cebu.

I learned the value of money at an early age.

I joined the call center industry at the age of 20.

Call Center - Sabi ng iba cheap daw mag-work sa call center napaka-baba ng pagtingin nila. Ang iba naman parang diyos ka pag sa call center ka nagta-trabaho.

3 years na ako sa call center and I can say that it's like any other jobs - ano ba ang puno't dulo ng pagtra-trabaho kung hindi serbisyo.

Medyo sabog ung thought ng post kasi mix ang emotions ko.

First I really want to tackle the "petiks" issue in a workplace, Pangalawa ang pananaw ng iba sa pagta-trabaho sa callcenter, at pangatlo ung pangarap na napakataas.

Oo tumatanda na nga ako dahil nakikita ko na ang importansya ng pagtra-trabaho ng mahusay. Dati naiisip ko lang ung binabayad sa akin. Lagi lang ako excited sa payday pero ngayon na-realize ko teka ano ba ang nagagawa ko para sa kumpanya? Dapat din ako mag-sikap hindi yung puro ako reklamo na lang.

Ang call center may iba't ibang uri yan. Hindi lahat customer service lang. Saludo ako sa mga tao na yan dahil sa walang pagod nilang pagsa-salita ng diretso otso oras. Ako kasi nabibilang sa Technical Support.. opps.ss.. endi ng microwave, ref, at kung ano ano pang ek ek. It will really stress the capacity of your brain. Kung ang cisco ay inaaral ng taon taon sa amin instant knowledge dapat, info overload.

Kaya hindi dapat i-understimate ang kakayahan ng mga taong nagtra-trabaho sa call center isa itong marangal na trabaho at higit sa lahat kahit ano pa ang trabaho mo uulitin ko isa lang ang goal natin lahat ang MAG_SERBISYO SA KAPWA.


Sa pag-asenso

Let us not look for an "ideal job" there's no such thing. May we keep in mind that a successful career starts from solid work. No matter that the job may appear humble at first, a person with endeavouring spirit, creative thinking and a habit of hard learning will eventually achieve success.

Napakalapit sa puso ko ng topic na ito kaya hindi ko naiwasan gamitin ang aking lengguwahe.

Maraming salamat sa mga bumibisita at natutuwa sa blog ko.

Salamat sa mga sulat. :D

Keep it coming guys.






Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Update ...

POSTED ON MY XANGA SITE

Thursday, August 02, 2007

  • SELOS

    I'm not the jealous type - well not until I met bandido.

    Being jealous all the time is crazy.

    My face turns red, words fails me, my whole body stiffens, cold sweat and etc. In short major heart attack. Urggh..

    I can't help it as much as I want to stay calm think about happy thoughts arrggh...

    I know its natural to be jealous but Is it right to be jealous even if you don't have the rights to do so? Or maybe the real question is do you need to have rights just to be jealous.

    I believe its normal to be jealous. But it can be disturbing.

    You do things you don't normally do if you're jealous. Well I'm thankful that I'm still blessed with patience. Thank God.

    I'm still praying for strength.



Wednesday, August 01, 2007

  • Singungaling (LIAR)

    NO MORE LIES - I wont tell anymore lies may it be white lies, there's no such thing.

    I'd rather hurt people with the truth than mislead them with a lie.

    Why? because my heart almost stopped beating when "bandido" lied to me.

    It was traumatic.

    Elaboration later.
Fast Forward to Sept.

I heard it from him. Although he didn't say it right in front of my face but I heard it clearly. Yes it's true he into somebody else not me, not even his gf but somebody else. I felt bad for "supposedly" falling in love with this kind of person. All along I thought that he's so loyal, true with his relationship that he can endure the days that he's gf is not with him. But who am I kidding? He's weak just like everybody else. I have learned to move on. My friend told me that It's his lost not mine. Too easy to say.

I thought that if I heard the truth everything will be alright that I can live with it. But I felt like a glass shattered without mercy. My heart, mind and soul shutdown for awhile I can't even move my fingers.

Music kept me sane.

I am now confused about what I really felt for him is it really love or pure infatuation?

They said it's not love because I didn't do anything before when I almost lost him, I didn't run to the airport , made a scene and profess my undying love to him. I just kept silent and live everyday as it is.

Maybe because of my strong personality or maybe because at the back of my mind he will be back.

There are times that I wish he didn't come back because I have learned to live life without him.

I hope that day will come that I will finally know my feelings for him and I pray that I may also accept whatever it is that will happen.

I still ask God for strength.

I'm not fighting back.

I live my life the way it should be. Thy will be done.

Music playing: Invisible War - Julia Fordham




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Monday, September 10, 2007

Invisible War.

Invisible War

Invisible war, seems we're fighting an invisible war
Strained manoeuvres, keeping silent score
In this invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
Both wishing it was like before
In this invisible war

Talk about a fine line between love and hate
We've lost more than our direction of late
Talk about a fine line between lovers and friends
We've never been lovers and now we're not even friends

In this invisible war, seems we're waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

It wounded deeply the scar is here to stay
Opening up at all the little things I do and say
You always want things to be as before
So I make you angry and you bleed a little more

In this invisible war, seems that we're waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

Want to go away
I still love you
Got to go away
I always love you
Got to be away
Time heals all wounds

=============================

Thank you for songs that can explain clearly what I've been wanting to say.

Thank you for friends who still cares to listen.

Thank you for people like you **** who makes me feel like a trash because you help me realize that my happiness does not depend on you. Have a nice life.


Thank you for the beautiful, bitter sweet life.



Saturday, September 8, 2007

Thank You

By Oprah Winfrey

I live in the space of thankfulness - and i have been rewarded a million times over for it. I started out giving thanks for small things, and the more thankful i became, the more my bounty increased. That's because what you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when i learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.

"Say thank you!" Those words from my friend and mentor Maya Angelou turned my life around. One day about ten years ago, I was sitting in my bathroom with the door closed and the toilet bowl lid down, booing and ahooing on the phone so uncontrollably that i was incoherent. "Stop it! Stop it right now and say thank you!" Maya chided. "But - you don't understand," i sobbed.

To this day, i can't remember what it was that had me so far gone, which only proves the point Maya was trying to make. "I do understand," she told me. "I want to hear you say it now. Out loud. "Thank you." Tentatively, i repeated it. "Thank you - but what am i saying thank you for?" "You're saying thank you," Maya said, "because your faith is so strong that you don't doubt that whatever the problem, you'll get through it. You're saying thank you because you know that even in the eye of the storm, God has put a rainbow in the clouds. You're saying thank you because you know there's no problem created that can compare to the Creator of all things. Say Thank you!"

So i did - and i still do. Only now I do it everyday.

I kept a gratitude journal, as Sarah Ban Breathnach suggest in Simple Abundance, listing at least five things that i'm grateful for. My list includes small pleasures: the feel of Kentucky bluegrass under my feet (like damp silk); a walk in the woods with all nine of my dogs and my cocker spaniel Sophie trying to keep up; cooking fried green tomatoes with Stedman and eating them while they're hot; reading a good book and knowing another awaits. And when i feel that life is hard, all i have to do is read my gratitude journal. It truly helps.

My thank-you list also includes things too important to take for granted: an "okay" mammogram, friends who love me, 15 years at the same job (and loving it more than the first day i started), a chance to share my vision for a better life, staying centered, having financial security. I won't kid you, having money for all the things i want is a blessing. But as i look back over my journals, which i've kept since i was 15 years old, 99% of what brought me real joy had nothing to do with money. (It had a lot to do with food, however). It's not easy being grateful all the time.

But it's when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: PERSPECTIVE. Just knowing you have that daily list to complete allows you to look at your day differently, with an awareness of every sweet gesture and kind thought passed your way. When you learn to say thank you, you see the world anew.

And as Meister Eckhart so eloquently stated: "If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is 'Thank you', that would suffice."

Friday, September 7, 2007

Thank you and Sorry ...

I am thankful for those people who accepted me for who I really am.

YOU are my real friends.


Genuine friendship you continue sharing with me is a blessing from God.

Thank you for listening to my rants, whining and how-i-hate-myself-right-now litanies.

Thank you for making me feel and letting me know that I am beautiful. My fats, my flabs, my puffiness was never an issue. Thank you for lifting my spirit. Thank you for not making fun of me. Thank you for treating me like a real person.

Thank you for being honest with me. For reminding me that although I am beautiful I must also consider my health.

Thank you.

Thank you for the love.

I can go on and on and on and will just end up saying

Thank you

I will never cease thanking God for blessing me with friends like you.


Sorry...

I would like to apologize for all the hurt I have caused.

I'm sorry for not choosing my words wisely.

I'm sorry.

SELFISH

Am I Selfish for hoping a debt-free life?
Am I Selfish asking for genuine friends?
Am I Selfish when I yearned for good health?

I don't have to answer those questions.

"Be the change that you want to see" --- strong words from a man who gave up his multi-million job with microsoft and opted to serve other people by giving books to kids all over the world.

Oprah interviewed him and she ask a very important question "How do people treat you now?" in which he replied "Aww I'm used to being left alone standing in a crowd during social parties". Also Oprah asked how he manage to live now that he doesn't have a stable multi-million job, a very important question. " They are taking care of me" he said without a blink of an eye.

You see kindness in that man's eyes, genuine love for children. He's advocacy is to educate children, to help them to know that there's a better world out there.

I am a bookworm myself and I am deeply touched with what he did. Gave up his luxurious life to help others.

I also realized that Im doing something completely wrong. I am trying too hard to change my life for wrong reasons.

Pay it forward - Oprah mentioned it, movie was good. That's what I want to do starting now.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

OFD - Day 1

7:00 pm - NESVITA CEREAL DRINK - I was awaken by a terrible headache. Half of my head kills me and my face hurts as well.
A combination of migraine and sinusitis attack, cause? Blackout, urggh... I badly need a med, I ate a cup of nesvita and pop paracetamol in my mouth.


11:58 - Sotanghon noodles small/7-up - was about to start my shift when I felt the hunger and since there's no decent meal at the upstairs pantry I ended up eating cup noodles.


6:23 am in 3 hours I'm about to end my day with just a cereal and noodles as food nourishment for my body.

Am I starting to feel the pressure? nah.. I'm used to eat only one big meal a day and that's before I go to sleep, I think it didn't help.

I hope I can eat healthier. I got a pretty good advice from Joyce-model and she said It would be better to put food next to my desk so when I get hungry I can just grab quick small snacks instead of depriving myself of food and become a monster once I get really really hungry.

I tried it for a couple of days and it worked. Exception today I wasn't able to buy snacks because of my headache.

But I will continue to look for ways to really help me loose the unwanted fats.

Suggestions are deeply appreciated. :D

Monday, September 3, 2007

Online Food Diary.

I have thought of something to help me really push me in achieving my goal of loosing weight. ONLINE FOOD DIARY. Ahhh just the thought of it.. posting everything that I eat, challenging I may say.

I can just imagine those chinky, inquisitive eyes of my family and friends I'm so sure they will religiously check out my everyday post. I think it will be great.

Guys feel free to say what's on your mind and thank you to those who already ask questions on my question box. I'm still retrieving my mails but after I compiled and answered all of your questions I will post it on my answer blog.

Tomorrow will be the start of my online food diary.

Again thank you guys.

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Saturday, September 1, 2007

Saturday night at work....

It's my first time to do weekend support. If you need money you'll love being scheduled to work on weekends for obvious reasons; Weekends = fun, but if your weekends are reserved for something else you think twice, thrice or more.

I'm in between. I need money but my weekends are supposed to be a time for my family and friends.

I left the house with a question in my mind, why Am I not feeling anything? I used to have a heavy heart leaving home during weekends.

It took 15 mins or so to reach the MRT station rain started to pour heavily the sound of it worries me. I could hear my mother saying how hard headed I am for not bringing the umbrella.
11 pm I walk in and found empty seats not even a single friendly face welcomed me.

I sat at my desk and started preparing the tools I needed for the intrusive test. I still have 4 hours free time so I watched a movie. It's about an overweight girl with a beautiful voice, in love with a guy and a ghost singer for a pretty girl with a voice only her mother can love. Well it's a happy ending. :D

The silence of my surroundings brought tranquility I thought that I would regret nodding my head for this weekend support but I actually enjoyed the experience.

I got to hang out with just me, myself and I.

I badly needed this to be able to know and hear what my heart, body and mind is really saying.

Epiphany may be a big word but I did experience it today.

My world is changed forever.



Current State
I feel numb all over my whole being is starting to give in to the thought that there's nothing I can do anymore. The damage was beyond repair

I have been scarred, damage, hurt deeply and my heart is inconsolable. What else is missing? my tears

Sugar...